The 2nd coolest car in Bend. Disguised as a tribute to the Red Rocket

Being quite the “car guy” myself, I know a spectacular car when I see one. I just love cool cars. I bought my beloved Red Rocket (1987 Nissan Sentra) for $750 in Colorado Springs in 2001 and drove it like I stole it (and many other happy memories) before abandoning it in a parking lot in Reno- 2008. (Wanted to light it on fire and push it off a cliff but life has just been so busy)

Those bungees held the front fender up, and when I had to impress someone (like meeting a sponsor) I would touch the yellowing fender up with a can of black paint.

Putting bikes on the back increased its value by 100x.  My Stumpy 29er here is almost bigger than the car is long…

The gas gauge never worked, and math isn’t my forte… to know more or less when to fill up, I kept track of the mileage on a piece of paper and could drive about 320mi on a tank- about $13 and was capable of speeds up to 95mi/h. (Without bikes on the back and with climatic conditions being favourable)

When the ignition failed, a friend put in a push button start.  The passenger side floorboards was a bit “holey” and if I drove through puddles, water would splash in and flood or short “the computer.” Which meant I always kept running shoes in the  back. Also in case my math was off

Other important tools were: Leatherman, duct tape, bicycle tube, spare gas canister, quart of oil, Clif Bars. (Cant run home when you’re bonked)

The Red Rocket did more off roading than 99% of the SUVs out there. It was really capable on the dirt- thanks mostly to my very capable driving skills carefully cultivated on our farm in Africa. And of course the motto: “If speed doesnt work, try more speed.” Only one time did things not work out so well. I launched over a water bar and landed on the sump (oil pan)- of course I just glanced in the rear view mirror for the oil patch in the road and sent up a silent prayer- and kept my foot on the floor.

After 2 days’ camping, I found a note in the windshield saying: “Your car has been leaking oil for the last 2 miles- it must have a cracked oil pan.” Sure enough- there was a hole in the oil pan and the dip stick was bone dry. The Caveman revels in times of hardship,so I plugged the hole with wet toilet paper and tightly bunched aluminum foil, and really jammed it in there with a sharp stick. I used the 1/2 quart of oil rolling around under the seat to put some oil in the engine and proceeded back down from Broken Top to Bend. With the engine switched off and one hand on the hand brake, (e brake) because the brakes werent working. Never had power steering, so that was no problem. When I did have to run the engine, it was slowly and in 5th gear, holding my breath for that sound of an exploding engine. I got to the gas station safely, filled up on oil, and the Caveman sump fix worked so well, I continued to drive with the wet toilet paper and aluminum foil for 2 more weeks…

Then this other time, when I saw something drag on the ground by the engine- it turned out to be the Air conditioning.  (never worked, of course) We all know “weight is the enemy of performance”, so with my Leatherman I did some open heart surgery and added at least a 1/8 Hp to its performance. Also handled even better around traffic circles after that.

She had an engine part made of a rolled up Sprite can…

She had tire tracks going over the top from front to rear fender. (Specialized Rockster 2.1. – The tires I won 2001 XTERRA Worlds on- great tires…)

When the bolt holding this window to its swivel (Caveman A/C) fell out, I fixed it with a cable tie, short stick and smoothed it out with bubblegum. (For aerodynamics and noise reduction)

“There, I fixed it ”

I push started her more often than not, and it turned out to be quite the “character test” for prospective girlfriends.

Her real forte though was hand brake turns and attracting cops who wanted to “look at my papers”. ( I think its code for “look for drugs”)

At 69mi/h, the Hula doll would start bouncing up and down like crazy, (mounted on a spring- missing and replaced by a Gummy Bear here) before getting legless and falling on her face. (Like the Sphinx, her nose had a big chunk missing) Also had a “Turbo Boost” button, but on the 2nd try, it became “Brokin”- like the sign says.

I’m working really hard on customizing my current car in the US to fit my special needs. Its a work in progress, (1995 Toyota Previa minivan- cant start with a car from this century) but once she gets some real character going, I’ll blog it. Already has Pringles cans as part of the air conditioning, baling wire to control the sunroof with and only has 2 seats- the whole rear is the size of a dance hall- I can wheel my KTM right in.

The Grand Luxury Express in South Africa, is another story, of course.  (1988 Toyota Camry GLE – which my dad bough new the year we did our 1st triathlon together- I was 14 then and I still drive that car. It can take any speed bump in Stellenbosch at full speed and it just wallows like a laden ship for a few minutes)

Without further ado, here is the 2nd Coolest car in Bend:

No, its not a temporary fix. Look, the perfect place to put your bikes. Or a smelly passenger…

And the WINNER….. And this one is for sale! Or is it “for sail?”

More cool Bend images I have been Twittering:

Perfect flower pot

Bend bike lane art. Every “cyclist” has a different head…

In Bend we all ride bikes

Taking “green vehicle” to a new level

Cowboy doggies patiently waiting at the kids’ gridiron game. I know they were Cowboy dogs, because I saw the owners at the football field when refilling my bottles

If you like what you see, please vote for me in the finals of the SA Blog Awards every day from every email account from now till 17 Sept. I know, its like flossing- a real pain in the rear. But they say its good for you…

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